Déjàlà: When There Becomes Here, Which Side of the Gun are You On?

So, tell me where shall I go?

To the left where nothing’s right?

Or to the right where nothing’s left?

Itachi Uchiha

El Narco Peso, by David Téllez, 2011

Notice the hanging bodies – upper left!

I, thankfully, never had to confront the cruel side of Mexican life… But yes, it exists! The US amplifies the scale of it to its advantage while Mexico hides as much of its full spectrum for its own benefit. By manipulatively aggravating the statistics, the US strives to scare its citizens away from retiring and spending their money here. Mexico prefers to hide that information, so travelers aren’t too afraid to visit and spend their hard earned ‘dinero’ here.

Like many other countries in the world, there are parts of certain cities you don’t visit. There is tribal knowledge about these places, it is important to listen to the locals. Los Angeles, London, South Africa, Toronto, all have these parts ‘unknown’ where it is best to leave them alone for reasons of safety.

The main difference seems to be the extent of the cartel’s network. You have gangs in US cities, but each gang’s influence is mostly localized. In Mexico, the cartel has its fingers everywhere and in nearly everything. They function in a much more flagrant fashion, invading from ports to agriculture and fuel to recycling. Their drug delivery channels are thought to be better organized than UPS or Amazon, but their influence over judges, cops, military, is not as well developed in the US – ‘yet’.

Does it make it more dangerous to live here? Not to me. I am more worried about walking in a US Walmart than I am to walk around most cities in Mexico. We have constant mass shootings in the US, people own many more guns. Unless you are in the cross fires here, your chances of being hit are minimal. Few people own guns. The truth is the cartel prefers foreigners alive. We are the goose with the golden egg. It would be silly for them to hurt this source of money.

Much of the cartel’s money is washed by them building resorts, hotels, golf courses, bars, marinas, etc. Without us visiting such places they would have a tough time getting a good return on their investment. I know firsthand, expats who are protected by the cartel for the reasons listed above. We are unintended participants in the process.

Twenty five percent of US expats come to Mexico (or about 1 to 1.5 million). Mexico being the number one country where expats go to play, retire, enjoy life and the beautiful weather. Evidently, many still feel safe enough to live here.

From the trailer of La Libertad del Diablo, 2017

On that subject, I just watched a movie called Devil’s Freedom (La Libertad del Diablo, 2017) by Everardo Gonzalez which gave me a lot to think about on this subject. Let me explain…

The main questions the movie brings up are: Is impunity the key to evil? Are we all capable of committing atrocities directly or indirectly? Can a person who suffered and those who inflicted the suffering be the same? Can anyone end up on one side of a lethal gun or the other?

From criminal to victim or the other way around?

If you are like me, your first impulse could be to say there is no way you would end up on the perpetrator’s side. After watching this movie however, I have a different opinion. My first answer was based on my own life filters. A life of love, education, travel, discoveries, options, etc. Had my life been different, then what? I don’t think I’ve ever judged people for being criminals, I have mostly never understood them. These people have always perplexed me.

In Devil’s Freedom, all interviewees are masked (see picture above) leaving the viewers the capability of barely making out people’s expressions – a more neutral approach to knowing them. Criminals look the same as the victims: ears, nose, eyes, mouth. Some with makeup, others, bandages, some mustaches, others distorted smiles. The tight skin-color masks show darkened discoloration when a person cries or their nose drips. You can easily imagine the tears within, the mascara discoloring the edges of the eye-holes of the mask. You feel for them but there is still a separation. The mask gives the speaker a skull-like appearance as though he/she is not far from death, full of emotions but empty of a satisfying life.

We hear of anything from mother kidnapping and killings, to rape and distinct types of tortures. Accomplished for a fee of $10 to $3,000/person. Some even paid with new cars for their loyalty! It is present at every level of society: police, military, government, family, business, or gang. A work without compassion, only monetary rewards.

Visually uniform, it is hard to recognize the individuals, but each story is unique and difficult to forget, each slowly unmasking emotionally. You learn to recognize voices and intonations over faces. This near uniformity parallels the indifference victims face in a country where there is so many atrocities. Just like we, in the US, are becoming emotionally immune to the almost daily mass shootings we hear about. The masks prevent us from fraternizing, judging. The masks protecting them as well as us.

Faceless ‘voodoo’ dolls – all prisoners

Frail balance between humanity and evil

From the victims’ anguish, powerlessness, loathing we also hear mention of being trapped in corrupt and brutal systems from the criminals’ side. Systems impossible to escape without their own death. Both sides becoming more and more anonymous as body-counts go up, a dehumanizing cycle of corruption and violence stripping souls from either side.

"If we do not look at the victims and the perpetrators,

who in turn are victims,

it is difficult to legislate in favor of society,

as long as we continue to have technicians and not humanists in power,

we will continue having the same problems".

Everardo Gonzalez

How easy is it to commit atrocities? What would you do in the following circumstances:

A son abducted – the only way to get him back is abducting three new victims to give to the cartel in exchange! Three unknown lives for one cherished one.
Having to sell drugs to save a brother?
Farmers hooked on stolen cheap gas over time, now that is being taken away. They got used to it like a drug – with crops needing to be harvested, time is of the essence, now what? Are you going to steal to save your crop? Your family’s livelihood?
When a lawyer excels in various court cases, they get noticed by the cartel who pressures them into working for them. They cannot refuse. Their only other recourse is to stop being lawyers. I have met two of them who are now teachers or cleaners!

This movie stays with you long after it’s over… You realize how much the criminals are caught in a vicious circle, many times, not of their own making. How many of them want out but can’t? How much easier it is to manipulate people who are poor or without other options? Many have had to go into exile with or without their families, when unable to continue in this cycle of violence.

I felt just as sad for the criminals as I did for the victims at the end of this powerful documentary. We are too quick to judge or think we know. I don’t have answers – far from it – but I can appreciate my life even more when I compare my situation to theirs.

Is it any surprise therefore that so much of Mexican art includes skulls, skeletons, arms, bondage, fake money? Is it any surprise that many Mexicans live in the now, rarely thinking of the future? Is it any surprise they so often help and support each other? This part of Mexico is not making me love this country less, only makes me understand it a bit more.